QC house refuge for single mothers

QC house refuge for single mothers

By Edson C. Tandoc Jr.
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Posted date: May 11, 2009

MANILA, Philippines—Sixteen-year-old Maria was all set to enter university when she discovered she was pregnant. It shattered her dream of becoming a teacher and broke her parents’ hearts.

Maria and her boyfriend were not ready to become parents or even to get married.

“I was angry at my boyfriend,” she recalls. “I was angry at myself.”

She also worried about what the neighbors would say when they see her pregnant and unmarried.

Maria sought refuge at the Nazareth Home in Quezon City, which is a shelter for pregnant teens and unwed mothers. Operated by the volunteer group Kaisahang Buhay Foundation (KBF), the halfway house hopes to protect mothers-to-be and their unborn children.
The home provides a place—free of charge—for women facing unexpected pregnancies and have run away from their families.

It also seeks to protect the children they may not want by providing alternatives to abortion and to the society-induced stigma attached to being a single mother.

“We want to protect the children so they do not suffer from what their mothers have done,” says KBF volunteer Maria Paula Molato, who supervises the home.

Safe haven

Nazareth Home is a haven for unmarried pregnant women. Most of the girls come from poor families who are not ready for marriage or motherhood.

It also provides refuge for rape victims, who the home would rather call “survivors of sexual abuse.”

The youngest girl admitted to the shelter is an 11-year-old who became pregnant after she was raped in Pampanga province three years ago.

Sometimes, married women who get pregnant while working abroad because of extramarital affairs stay at the halfway house because they are afraid to go home and face the consequences of their actions.

Nazareth Home also provides counseling and training to help pregnant teens “regain self-worth and self-esteem.” It tries to reconcile the girls with their families.

It also prepares them for motherhood, hoping that they would decide to keep their babies when they leave the shelter.

While the KBF can facilitate the adoption of babies born in the shelter, the KBF’s Molato says they try as much as possible to encourage the new mothers to bring their babies home with them.

Like a home

There are 12 girls living in the shelter. Two of them, including Maria, have just given birth. The shelter can accommodate up to 20 girls.

It looks and feels like a typical home: The two-story house has a sala, a kitchen where the girls can cook, a dining room with a large table, and three big bedrooms. Bringing together girls with similar problems will help them realize they are not alone, Molato says.

The shelter usually gets referrals from churches, the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) and other volunteer groups.

Full-time mother Jo Ann de Larrazabal is one of the volunteers at the shelter. She helps prepare the girls give birth “successfully and beautifully.”

De Larrazabal hopes to make the girls’ childbirth experience less traumatic so they would learn to value their babies more.

“It helps when they know what is going to happen,” she says. “It takes away the fear.”

De Larrazabal, 49, a fine arts graduate and mother of three children, says she started volunteering in the shelter in 1996.

At the beginning, the girls were subjected to harsh conditions and even verbal abuse when they were brought to the nearest government hospital to deliver their babies.

Birthing room

De Larrazabal decided to raise funds to put up a “birthing room” at the shelter.

In September 2006, the first baby was born in the birthing room—a simple room with a bed and a “birthing stool” where girls can give birth sitting down, which is the natural way, she says.

The shelter has a volunteer midwife during delivery.

“Here, the women feel valued and cared for,” De Larrazabal says. “The best benefit is that the baby bonds with the mother.”

Foster care

Sixty-five girls had given birth in the birthing room. De Larrazabal says many if not most of the mothers brought their babies home instead of giving them up for adoption.

Maria gave birth in the same room on April 6. She was given the option of keeping her month-old daughter, or relinquishing her for adoption.

There is a third option which the shelter calls “foster care.” A family takes care of the baby for six months. In that period of time, the mother can decide whether to keep her baby.

The KBF, which operates the shelter, is licensed and accredited by the DSWD to offer adoption.

Maria finally left Nazareth Home on Friday afternoon.

She was picked up by her parents, who had also undergone counseling sessions at the shelter. She got a warm welcome from her family.

“I used to be very angry,” Maria said. “But the anger in my heart disappeared the moment I saw my baby girl.”

Of course, she brought her baby home.
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Raising a kid by yourself is tough, its great to see there is an institution that understands and supports teenage mothers, rather than berates them. This is just a good contribution to the Philippines society